When you start going through infertility treatments, you become a “regular” at your doctor’s office.  You get to know the nurses VERY well, the sonographers hold their breath with you before they start their scan, and you know random life stories from the woman taking your blood a few times a week.  It is a strange situation, but you end up cherishing this familiarity and these relationships when going through your treatments.  By early 2007, I had gotten to know most of the staff at my doctor’s office.  Sweet Gayla was always at or around the front desk, and she was always such a joy to be around.  Her smile was infectious, and she genuinely cared about all of us.  During this time, Gayla was pregnant.  At one of my appointments, I asked when she was due and if her two kids were super excited to have a baby brother or sister.  She said “no” and laughed a bit.  Before I had the chance to come up with an “oh no” or “why not?”, she informed me that she was a gestational carrier and was being a surrogate for a couple that struggled with infertility.  AND, this was her second time to do this!  Her first time, she carried twins for a couple.  Y’all.  Gayla became a rock star to me at that moment.  She had two kids of her own, and now she was helping couples have babies of their own.  ROCK. STAR.

A couple of weeks ago, while I was chatting with my infertility doctor about Lunchbox Babies, I brought up several questions about surrogacy.  He immediately put me back in touch with Gayla.  After all these years, she is still that amazing woman with the infectious smile that genuinely cares for you.  Gayla is now the Third Party Coordinator for my infertility doctor, meaning she handles all of the egg donors, gestational carriers (surrogacy), and embryo adoptions.  She also has her own business – DFWGC – that helps pair intended parents with gestational carriers. Again, ROCK. STAR.

So, there is now the belief (mainly by me through my extensive and awesome Google searches) that my autoimmune disease was to blame for my losing Sophie and the little boy last year. *Autoimmune disease and infertility are something that will be discussed in the coming weeks!   Reid and I discussed surrogacy once before we permanently closed down the shop, but basically decided that we didn’t have that much money and the concept scared us.  I think for a lot of us, surrogacy only appears to be available to Kim Kardashian, Jimmy Fallon, and the super rich.  And, since no one really talks about it, it just sounds scary!  SO . . . I came armed with questions for Gayla.

SURROGACY 101

How did you decide to become a surrogate? I had been working with an OB group at UT Southwestern, and loved being around pregnant women.  At some point, I moved to work with Reproductive Endocrinology, and my eyes were open to the struggles of so many couples.  At an office Christmas party, I heard a friend telling a story about a gestational carrier out of California.  I had never really heard anything like that, and it was like God planted a desire in my mind.  I really felt called at that moment to be a surrogate.  It was such a God thing.  I told my boss (*my infertility doctor) and was introduced to a couple from the practice.  I knew the moment I met them that (1) I had to help them, and that (2) they were going to have twins!  I had two young children at the time, and my husband really didn’t understand.  Which I got.  But, the moment he met the couple, he knew I had to do this.  It was such a gift.  I had their twins in 2004.  They just turned 14!

How many times have you been a surrogate? I was a gestational carrier two more times after the twins.  I would have done it more, but at that point, I had been pregnant five times – once with twins – and my body needed a break!  I almost did it another time but needed to listen to my body.  It is such a blessing to be able to give someone what they desire most!

Why did you decide to start DFWGC? In 2007, during my second time being a gestational carrier, I felt like God was really putting it on my heart to start a business.  I kept hearing about some rough experiences from our patients with regards to their surrogacy hopes.  I just decided that I needed to help.

What inspires you to continue with your business? I truly believe that it is my foundation of spirituality.  Without my faith, I couldn’t do what I do.  I get people from all over calling me as either a GC prospect or an intended parent.  I don’t advertise, so it is all word of mouth.  It is always so interesting when people call me.  I call them “God clicks”.  The Lord just sent them to me, He is how they found me.

Has surrogacy increased recently? YES! I would say that over the last five to six years, it has increased dramatically! More people are comfortable talking about it.  And, more people are open to gestational carriers.  It takes a lot of trust to allow someone to carry your child.

What are the average costs of surrogacy? Well, this is highly dependent on your doctor, the gestational carrier and the agency you are using. I would say that the average, reasonable costs are $60,000 – $80,000.  If you go over $80,000, then you are probably looking at a hard pregnancy, with a long hospital stay and lost wages you are paying for the GC.  There are agencies out there that charge quite a deal more.  And, of course, you have to think about insurance coverage for your GC when you start going down this path.

What is the average timeframe for surrogacy? It depends on the availability of the gestational carrier.  But, assuming that one is available right now . . . if the couple already has frozen embryos, it could take two to three months from the initial meeting until the implantation.  If the couple is going for a fresh transfer, it could take four to five months.

What are some misconceptions you feel people have about surrogacy? (1) I feel like price is a big one.  Again, this is dependent on a lot of things like the doctor you use, the agency, and the GC fees.  (2) Some intended parents are scared that the GC will do something horrible to themselves or the baby.  I can say that from my experience, gestational carriers would never put themselves or the baby in harm’s way.  This, of course, is very hard to make someone understand.  It takes a lot of trust.  (3) I have also seen that intended parents are scared that the GC won’t give the baby up.  I’m not sure about other states, but the laws in Texas are on the side of the parents.  So, this would never be an issue that would go against the intended parents.

What is your goal with DFWGC? I’m happy where I am, but because I love what I do, I want to help more people.  Of course, that would mean growing my staff.  And, I really like the personal attention that I am able to give to my gestational carriers and intended parents.  I am in regular contact with all of them and will even go to OB appointments with GCs from time to time, if they want me to.  I feel like I am so blessed to do this.

How has faith contributed to your work? I could not do this without our Lord and Savior.  I pray for my intended parents and my gestational carriers.  I just feel like this has been a calling for me in my life.  I am blessed to help these couples.

Y’all.  Didn’t I tell you? She is a ROCK.STAR! It was such an honor to get to pick her brain.  I know that my family looks like it is supposed to, I do.  BUT . . . I wish I had done this research last year before it was no longer an option for us.  Now, Gayla tells me that it still can be an option post vasectomy.  But, the procedure to make that happen . . . YIKES!  I think Reid would permanently move to the guest room if I suggested it.  Ha! 😉

Surrogacy is on the rise because it is offering an amazing option to couples that struggle with infertility and miscarriage.  It is giving couples the chance to have their own children and grow their families.  I pray that this information helps some of you out there that are starting to contemplate surrogacy.  It is not just for the Kardashians and uber rich.  It could be for you.

If any of you have been a gestational carrier or an intended parent, I would love to hear from you.  And, if you have any questions or would like to move forward with researching surrogacy, please check out Gayla’s website, www.DFWGC.com.  She is such a gift, and I’m so thankful that she allowed me to interview her for this post!