Last December, the amazing Caley Porter of the Joy & Infertility podcast had me as a guest on the 33^rd episode of her podcast! I shared my story of infertility and loss, and how I came through the other side with my sense of humor still intact, as well as a stronger faith. You all know how much I love sharing my story, so I was honored to be a part of her podcast. If you want to check out that episode, click here.

Caley and I have stayed in touch through social media over the year, and I reached out to her earlier this month about letting me do a spotlight on her! Her story of infertility and loss is different than mine, but her heart for God and for loving this community is the same. She just launched the third season of Joy & Infertility this month, AND . . . she just surpassed over 100,000 downloads! Amazing! I am so looking forward to sharing her story with you.

LB: Tell me a little a bit about your infertility journey.

Caley: After being married for three years, we decided to start trying to have a child in 2010. After about a year of trying, we decided to get some testing done and discovered that we were dealing with a male infertility factor. We were told that IVF was our only option, so we started saving money with a goal of $20,000 in our minds. In March of 2014, in the midst of still saving and making a move to Texas for my husband’s job with Life Church, we discovered the we became pregnant naturally. Sweet Emma was born in October of 2014. When she was one, we started trying again. After a year, we decided do a couple rounds of IUI, which unfortunately ended in only a chemical pregnancy. In 2017, my husband had a surgery to enhance his fertility and sperm count, and one month later I had surgery to remove a cyst that was discovered during one of our IUI rounds. During my surgery, they discovered the cyst was actually a tumor, and they had to remove an ovary. It was such a one step forward, four steps back situation. 

In July of 2018, after moving to Kansas City for another job with Life Church, we established with a new OB, who was willing to try Femara, similar to Clomid.  During this process, we came to a place that we talked about in Episode 10 where we share our story, that our hearts were at peace with what God had given us in Emma and we were ready for our bodies to be at peace. It really does something to your day when you have to start each day with a negative ovulation stick or negative pregnancy test over and over again. We had decided at that point, that if this medication didn’t work, we were done with treatments. That month we ended up getting pregnant with Grantham. He was born in April 2019. 

And now, miracle of miracles, we have a surprise little Covid baby! We had just starting trying for a third, but had no idea it would actually be a quick process! She is due in November. From beginning to end, it will have taken us eight years to have these three babies.

LB: When did you decide to start sharing your story?

Caley: I started a blog in 2013. I started sharing because I wanted to process emotionally and spiritually what God was doing in our lives through this walk with infertility. Going straight to the pain in our hearts is what we do, but I really wanted to talk truth. I had to ask myself if I could trust God even if I never ended up getting pregnant. And, the answer is that I always trust Him and who He is, and we are good no matter what happens. Then in 2017, after our 2nd failed IUI and surgery set back, I was so broken and looking for someone to speak truth over me, I searched for infertility podcasts and came up completely empty. So, instead, I turned on the amazing Heather MacFadyen’s Don’t Mom Alone podcast and The Messy Table by Jenn Jewell and really just sunk into it. It was then that I felt truly called to start a podcast focused on having joy even in infertility.

LB: Besides through your podcast, how did you mentally and emotionally survive this journey?

Caley: Talking through it with husband. My faith. I really focused on the truth of God’s word versus what I was feeling, and those hard emotions. Talking through my issues brought me so much healing. In the beginning, I didn’t share because it felt like I was covering a wound that was raw. If I kept it covered and never mentioned it, the wound wouldn’t hurt. But the moment that I ripped off that band-aid and started talking about it, the wound began to heal. I thought people would be hard and unkind when I shared my story, but it was completely the opposite. There are so many women out there like me. Like us! So many women that have a similar story to share, and that only helps us heal. So, on the bad days I would talk to people. Faith filled people that helped to feed my soul.

LB: What is your goal with your podcast?

Caley: My goal is to share my heart behind infertility, and allow other women to share as well. The devil tells you that you are alone when dealing with infertility. We are not! One in eight women deal with infertility, and we need to support one another. One of my favorite stories about sharing my story is about a breakfast I shared with two moms from Emma’s class. One woman had dealt with infertility and never wanted to talk about it, and because of that felt horrible sadness and loneliness. When chatting over breakfast, I mentioned something about Emma being my miracle baby, and the other mom, who we didn’t know very well, started talking about her IVF baby and her experience with infertility. You could see the shock on the mom’s face who keeps her story private because she feels like she’s the only one facing this. It instantly was such a bridge between all three of us, and allowed us to chat without feeling judged or alone. You have to talk about it. I want to consistently share women’s voices about the hard part of their story, but then also show what God did for them. He is in the middle of all of our stories, and I am looking forward to continuing with my podcast. This is my heart, I don’t ever want to stop.

Isn’t Caley amazing? Make sure to follow the Joy & Infertility Instagram page, and check out her Joy & Infertility Podcast. The 43^rd episode will be released on Tuesday, October 6^th.

And, as always, if you are walking the road of infertility and loss, and you need an extra shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or a prayer to be said, let me know. There are women out here like Caley and myself that would love to walk this road with you. You are not alone. XO