Happy Wednesday, friends! And, happy July!!!! Did y’all check out my June Book Review from Monday? I always love to hear from you every month after that post. There are so many book lovers in the Lunchbox Babies community, and it is always so much fun to hear from you!

So, while we were in North Captiva, I dealt with the third anniversary of losing our Sophie Caroline. Actually, it was two weeks ago today. I have to say that I spent a little bit of time to myself that morning on the beach with my coffee, and then set off to have an amazing day with my family. Check out the view from that morning on the beach. There were some tears, but overall there was happiness. I mean, look at this view!

I posted this picture on my Lunchbox Babies Instagram page, along with some words on what the day meant to me. The response was overwhelming. Thank you to EVERYONE that reached out to me. But, I have to say, that it was those of you that reached out to me to share your journey was what impacted me so greatly. There are several of you that are right there in the depths of grief within your struggle, and I have been there.

Today, I am dipping into the well a bit, and revamping a post I did from a couple of years ago. There are so many hard things going on in the world right now, and we all have our share of struggles.

We ALL go through struggles. I seriously was in my early-thirties when I realized that we all had issues. No one was immune. So, while your struggle may not be infertility or experiencing a miscarriage, we all have something. You may be dealing with a sick child, a sick parent, financial issues, health issues for yourself . . . anything! We all have something. And, we all rise by helping each other. Am I right?

So, I wanted to share a little about what MY struggle has taught me. And, I hope that if you are in the midst of your struggle, this list from my life is helpful to you.

Seven Things I Learned From My Struggle

Patience

I was always taught that if you pray for something, God just doesn’t give it to you. Instead, He presents you with a circumstance to earn it. Does that make sense? So, if you pray for patience, he gives you a hard situation where you basically have to learn to be patient. With full disclosure here, I don’t like to pray for patience because I am always afraid of what God is going to give me to be patient about! 😉 But struggles teach you patience. Oh my goodness, do they ever! You may not feel like it, but the waiting only creates the ability to be patient. I needed a little extra patience in my life. So, thanking the struggle for that one. Of course, don’t ask my husband about my patience level. He may not agree with me here. HA!

Strength & Perseverance

Oh friends. I can now say that I am a tough cookie. We all are! Struggling makes you strong! Prior to 2006, I never gave much thought to how I handle situations. However, looking back on the last fourteen years I can say that I am a fighter, I am strong, and I don’t like to give up. My struggle did not define me, but it molded my personality in a way that I am blessed by. What are you going through right now? What road are you walking? Trust me, YOU ARE STRONG! Hold onto that, and don’t give up. You will be on the other side of this struggle soon enough. You are strong.

Brave

Y’all, I am a total baby when it comes to being scared. I don’t like it! I saw Nightmare on Elm Street when I was a teenager, and I STILL am not a fan of relaxing bubble baths because the scene where Freddie Kreuger takes the girl down in the bathtub. So, I’m scared . . . and maybe a little crazy. 😉 During the beginning of my infertility struggles, I was scared a lot. Scared of the shots, scared of what would happen if something went wrong, scared of what would happen if something went right! Just scared. But, over time, the fear started being replaced by hope. And that hope made me a little braver through each and every step I took. Not to say that the fear went away completely, I mean, I am human. But my struggles made me hold my head up high, and be brave. You, too, are building that bravery. You can do it!

Keep Your Sense of Humor

As the amazing Indigo Girls once said, “You have to laugh at yourself, or you’d cry your eyes out if you didn’t”. SO TRUE! There were MANY times that I struggled to get out of that deep dark hole that we can all find ourselves in. Trust me! But I managed to find the ability to laugh at myself even in the darkest times. It was truly a gift from God. I mean, I am funny y’all! 😉 Keep your sense of humor, if only to help you survive the darkness.

Keep Praying!

I read somewhere that when life gets too hard to stand, kneel. Can I get an AMEN? Pray, pray, and then pray. In my darkest days, I have spent time on my knees literally yelling at God. My anger was real, people. And, God can handle that. The main thing I know is that God has got this. He has always had my struggle and has helped me along the way. I know He walks with me. Even during my hardest days, I knew it. If you are struggling, pray. Let others pray for you.

Keep Your People Close To You!

This is a HARD ONE to know and trust. Your people love you. Let them walk through this struggle with you. Let them be there for you. And, let them be strong with you and for you. Grief and hard times can be murder on relationships. But, let your people in. Don’t push them away. I will be forever thankful that I was able to keep my marriage intact and hold onto my dear, dear friendships throughout my journey of infertility and loss. Any struggle we walk through is a lonely road. Don’t allow yourself to walk it alone.

Choose to be Happy

My former minister once said, “It is the attitude at the beginning of a task that determines the outcome”. YES! I love this quote so much that I have it written down in the top drawer of my nightstand. We have a choice every day. Do we want to be angry and sad or do we want to move on and choose happiness? There were days that I choose to sit on the bathroom floor and cry for a few hours. But there also came a time when those days, and the choice to grieve so painfully, became even harder. I had to find a way out of the darkness. I had to choose happiness. This is a hard one, friends. If you are knee-deep in grief right now, you sit on the bathroom floor and cry as hard as you want. I get it. But, know that one day, you will need to choose happiness. It is a hard choice, but I promise you that it gets easier every time you choose it.

I am not an expert AT ALL! I’m not a doctor, therapist, or minister. But I have been through some really hard stuff and am blessed to be on the other side with my faith and sense of humor still intact.

We all go through struggles. But, don’t let them define you. You are not your struggle. Learn from it and grow from it.

If you are struggling right now, and need someone to pray for you, please reach out to me. I would love to be an added person in your life to love on you, hold your hand, and send up a prayer.

Much love to all of you today! XO