I was making a quick grocery store run yesterday, and it looked like it had been attacked by Cupid. I don’t think I have ever seen so many balloons, chocolates, and hearts in one place. Red and pink were EVERYWHERE!

I mean, don’t get me wrong. I love me some Valentine’s Day! Even when I was single, I loved that there was a day when all we had to do was love. Okay, I may have complained about being single with my single friends while we were hanging out at happy hour. BUT, I still enjoyed the sentiment behind the day, and longed for a built-in Valentine.

Valentines Day of 2007, Reid and I were out at dinner and discussing building a family. We had already gone through a year of infertility treatments, and were talking next steps. We ended up finding out we were pregnant with Harlan a month later, but that Valentines Day conversation is seared in my brain.

This is what I know about infertility . . .

Infertility is loneliness

Infertility is desperation

Infertility is jealousy

Infertility is hope

Infertility is love

I started this blog as a way for me to heal my heart and truly come out on the other side of my grief. I so desperately needed to find my WHY, and I felt called to just jump off this cliff, share my story, and help others in my shoes. I can say now, almost two years later, Lunchbox Babies truly healed me.

I have met so many of you online and in person.

I have loved talking with those that have walked the road of infertility and loss, and still feel that scratch on your hearts.

I have enjoyed helping those loved ones that don’t have the words and experience to help those suffering infertility and loss.

And, perhaps my favorite, I have so loved meeting some of you at Starbucks. I have been able to be included within your story, and I have been blessed to pray, love on, and just support you through your journey.

Yes, on that Valentines Day of 2007 when I was crying in my wine, I remember my heart being torn in two. Half was that of desperation to become a mother, and the other half was hope that it was coming.

I have felt lonely. I have felt desperate. I have definitely been jealous of those that motherhood comes easy for.

But, looking back, I choose to see that infertility is hope and love. I spent years trying to grow my family and figure out what The Beucler Family was supposed to look like. I spent years hoping that my dream would come true, and that we would have little people to love.

I still have the rare day where I can transport back there and feel the heartache. But, when I look at my life now, I see it was all about hope and love.

If you are currently walking the road of infertility and loss. If you are currently in the valley and feeling all the things. Please know that you are not alone. Concentrate on the hope and the love. Know you will get through to the other side.

This week, when we are all forced to see hearts and happiness everywhere we turn, I hope that you also feel that hope and love.

If you need someone to walk this road with you, please reach out to me. As usual, I am always here to lend support.

XO