I love the “national days” list that seems to grow each year. Always so fun to read and enjoy if you catch a good one such as “National Margarita Day” or “National Lipstick Day”. Both equally important days in my life. 😉 Of course, today is “National Roast Leg of Lamb Day” and I have no plans to celebrate. Yuck!

So, this past Sunday was “National Infertility Survival Day”. Literally, in the YEARS that I dealt with infertility, I never knew that there was such a “national holiday” all for me and my issues. Who knew about this day? I love it!

I am a survivor. I love saying that.

Quick side note: Have y’all ever watched Survivor on CBS? I just saw that there have been 38 seasons! THIRTY-EIGHT! Reid and I had just started dating during the second season, and we watched it religiously. We have not watched since, but I can tell you this . . . I would be the 1st person voted off the island. Seriously. Ask anyone that knows me, and they will agree. I am great with the outdoors, love all sports, and am always up for an adventure. However, put me on national television with greasy hair, no make up, a lack of sleep, no coffee, and bugs to eat? A total recipe for a panic attack for Shawna Beucler. I am seriously sweating just typing this right now. Ha!

Back to “National Infertility Survivor Day” . . . Last fall, I wrote a letter to the me of ten years ago. Ten years ago, I had one precious baby boy after rounds of infertility treatments. But, I was also desperate to grow my family further, I had experienced multiple miscarriages, and my main emotions centered around feeling desperate, alone, sad, and depressed. In the midst of infertility, it is hard to feel like you will one day be a SURVIVOR.

This is the letter that I wish someone had given to me. So, for those of you that are still in the midst of your journey, please read this letter. For those of you on the other side of your journey, please feel free to add to it. As I always say, we are in this together!

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“Dear Friend,

First, I want to tell you that I am so sorry. Ugh . . . I am SO SO very sorry. If you just received your diagnosis or have known for awhile, I am sorry.  Having such a strong desire to be a mother, and the inability to fulfill that dream, is a heartbreaking combination. You may be confused and hurt, but please know that you are not alone. 15% of couples are going through infertility. You are not alone.

Take care of yourself. Get enough sleep, travel with your husband, pamper yourself. This journey will be difficult on your body and your mind, so use this time to give yourself a break. Reid and I choose to travel during the early stages of infertility. I have given myself shots in hotel rooms in Las Vegas, San Francisco, and London. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Make your marriage a priority. Your husband is suffering as well. He isn’t feeling the physical struggles that you are, but he is suffering along with you.  Let him in, and let him walk this road with you.

Infertility can feel like you are living on an island all alone. Do not isolate yourself. Choose your people, and let them in.  It doesn’t have to be a ton of people. Just pick your people, and let them love on you. I also highly suggest finding a support group or a counselor. I never did that in the heart of my journey, and I wish that I had. Having recently found a counselor in the past year, I will say that therapy rocks. There is no shame! Do not walk this journey alone.

My former minister used to say “it is your attitude at the beginning of a task that determines the outcome”. I love that quote! You get to choose your attitude on this journey. Do not define yourself with infertility. This is a moment in your life. Choose joy, and persevere.

On this path you are walking on, you will start to see babies EVERYWHERE! You will be surrounded!. I know that this will be difficult, but be able to be happy for those that don’t have to wait all while being sad for yourself. Don’t let bitterness fill your heart towards others. This will be difficult.

Wherever you are on your journey, there will be an end to it. I am sitting on the other side of my journey, and I speak from experience. Your journey may be short, or it may be long, but I can say that one day it will end, life will have gone on, and you will be on the other side with me. Probably drinking a bottle of wine and thankful. Please know that you are strong and you are brave. And, most importantly, infertility does not make you any less of a woman.

So much love and prayers coming your way.
Shawna”

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Let me say this. If you are knee deep in walking through infertility right now, you are not alone. It is a heartbreaking reality, but it is temporary. One day you will be over here with me shouting from the top of the mountain that you are a survivor!

Please reach out to me, and let me know how to pray for you. There are so many amazing resources (financial and emotional) that are readily available out there, and I am so happy to try to help you.

Happy National Infertility Survival Day. XOXO