THE MEANING OF “LUNCHBOX BABIES”
Happy Tuesday!
First, I would like to thank everyone for their support in launching Lunchbox Babies last week. It has been overwhelming. I know some of you have forwarded the blog onto friends and family members going through an infertility journey or that have had a miscarriage. Thank you for that. My ultimate goal with Lunchbox Babies is to have a place where we can inspire and support one another on this crazy road of life. Thank you, thank you for your support!
I have gotten several questions about the origin of my blog name, so I thought I would fill you guys in with this quick little post! During the late summer of 2009, Reid and I decided to spend WAY TOO MUCH money, and get a little crazy with our infertility treatments. Prior to this, our most aggressive procedure had been IUIs. Harlan was 18 months or so at the time, and we had already experienced three miscarriages. So, in an economic downturn (YIKES!), we decided to spend a ton money and do IVF. Not just IVF, but IVF plus an entire genetic panel. The genetic panel . . . well, you see, I am a bit jacked up (more on this in a later post!). With the genetic panel, each embryo was to be biopsied at day 3 to assess for any abnormalities. As I was drugging myself up for the egg retrieval, we spoke with the genetic counselors to understand the next steps. We were told that we had two options once the embryos were created:
- We could fly an embryologist from Chicago to Dallas to biopsy our embryos, OR
- They could put all of our embryos in a cryogenic box, and I could take them and fly to Chicago. There the biopsies would occur. I vividly remember asking, “So, you are wanting to put my babies in a cryogenic lunchbox, and have us travel across the country?”. The answer was “yes”!
Lots of discussions about plane delays, bad weather, me and my kids hanging out at DFW Terminal D. Needless to say, we chose option #1.
Out of 15 embryos, only two were normal and healthy enough to implant. They were girls. We got pregnant with them both. “Our girls” as Reid called them for several weeks. We lost them at almost nine weeks. It took us both to our knees. All of that money, all of that hope . . . gone. It took awhile for me to get out of the fetal position, but I did. And, the week the girls were supposed to have been due, was the week we got pregnant with Jackson. If we had had “our girls”, we never would have had our sweet, precious, fun-loving Jackson. I am so thankful for the way this turned out! Beauty from ashes right there, my friends.
SO . . . during the fall of 2009, I told Reid and some friends that the book I was going to write was to be called “My Babies Are in This Lunchbox: And Other Tales from My Crazy Infertility Journey”. I have talked about this book for YEARS! The book idea may have stalled, but Lunchbox Babies has been born. My babies from 2009 never made it to the lunchbox, but they made it to Heaven. Can’t wait to squeeze their cute, little necks one day.
Thanks so much for going on this journey with me!
Jennifer Knox
03/29/2018 @ 2:28 pm
I love this post! What an incredible journey and didn’t know that about the girls. You are absolutely right that beauty from ashes. When we’re on our knees or in the fetal position God will pick us up again and make things whole. Thank you of sharing sweet friend
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